she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
