Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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