dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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