All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
