Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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