my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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