'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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