Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
