My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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