i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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