Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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