is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
