I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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