You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
