In the future we'll all be gay
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
And then he peed in my hair
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