im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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