I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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