Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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