Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just found a bag of teeth...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
