pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
