She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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