from now on my penis is your penis
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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