Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
