that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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