How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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