When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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