Where is the hickey?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
