Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
