We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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