Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
