also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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