Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
