I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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