Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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