I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
