I got chris browned last night
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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