Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
