If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
