Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
