he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
