whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
