There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
