We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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