I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
