How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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