She is in my trunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
