I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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