Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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