In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
