You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
