I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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