I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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