I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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