Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
nutella sex= disaster
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
