OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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