Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
