He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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