Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
