tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just want to make out with him forever
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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