eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i out mim tonsoeep
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