Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
