you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
