Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
