Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
