in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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