well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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