hotel room ftw
I wanna bring you to show and tell
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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