just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
