We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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