weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
