im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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