I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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